Tour Quotes and Meisterisms

All the way through the trip there would be little asides, exchanges and comments that prompted smiles, laughs, guffaws or the occasional episode of apoplexy (largely depending on how much alcohol we’d had at the time). The challenge for us all was remembering these when it came to putting the blogs together. I think we did a pretty good job but the consensus was that we should consolidate some of the favourites into a single post. What follows therefore is a list of those we can remember, some already recorded, as the observant reader will realise, and some that have not. Most have not been attributed, as it’s often difficult to remember who said what, but for those present there will be some noticeable ‘Meisterisms’.

"Do you want any tea or coffee to go with your biscuits?"
"Won’t it be cold by the time we get there?"
(exchange with Harrods rep at Heathrow, buying a gift for our HK hotel booker)


"Can I help you out with any directions?"
"Which way is Hong Kong?"
"I think most people head for Departures sir"
(the afore-mentioned Harrods rep joins in the fun)


"The flight doesn’t close until 6:20, we’ll leave about 6:00"
(sitting in a bar at Heathrow prior to seeing the [Gates C - via Transit - 20 minutes] sign)


"Could you put me in a room with Jacuzzi"

"Forget the MTR, let’s go from the Wanchai Ferry Terminal, it’s closer and we can walk it"
(A comment that had me well on the way to my target of losing 25% of my bodyweight in sweat on this trip!)


"You wanna watch?"
"Why, what are you going to do?"
"Let me think about it for a minute"
"We might not get a second chance"
"On the face of it I don’t need one"
"They’re not second hand are they?"
(by this time the bemused hawker had turned his attentions elsewhere)　


"Do we want Tsim Sha Tsui or East Tsim Sha Tsui?"
"Dunno, depends how hungry you are I suppose"
(on being faced with a choice of MTR stations)


"Hi Lons, you OK?"
"No"

[Sing as though no-one can hear you and] dance like Virgil from Thunderbirds practising River Dance whilst
being stung by a swarm of wasps.

"You don’t see many goalkeepers standing on their feet these days"

‘Seriously, f**k off and get some sleep you attention seeker’
(A loving text from home)


"So you’ve got a 2 for 1 offer on Margaritas?"
"No it’s a 1 for 1 offer"
"Erm yes, so we get 2 for every 1 we buy?"
"No, you get 1 for every 1 you buy"
" Erm OK, so we can buy 4 and get 8?"
"Yes"
"OK, we’ll have 8 Margaritas, no we’ll have 4, but you’ll bring us 8 right?"
"Yes"
(At the Café Déco in the Venetian Casino, Macau- proving that syntax doesn’t transcend international boundaries that well)


"Of course it’s tomorrow now isn’t it"
(10 minutes past midnight at the above mentioned Café Décor, probably still waiting for those Margaritas)


"It’s that Big Moon Day today"
"Yes, but I don’t think it’s compulsory"
"Good, I don’t want to make an arse of myself"

"I’ll have a Tsing Tao please"
"Your drink sir"
"Thanks, but could you take the ginger ale back and bring me a Tsing Tao"
(In Dickens bar – proving that, like syntax, language doesn’t transcend international boundaries that well either)


"See if you can get a Grouper discount Pete"


"Oi Guilo, leave that fish alone"
(Pink Floyd cover from the Rainbow Restaurant on Lamma Island).


"I used to be a member of the Magic Circle but I’ve now joined the Magic Square, it’s similar but we don’t cut corners"

"Don’t talk to me about sophistication, I’ve been to Leeds"

"There’s one of those indoor outdoor swimming pools down there"

"Could you do us some shots Johnny?"
"Do you want nice or do you want nasty?"
(could have been any one of 8 nights at the White Stag)


"How would you like your steak sir?"
"In a baguette"
(In Wooloomooloo, one of HK’s most exclusive steakhouses)


"Let's not go to Wanchai tonight"
(No, never heard that one!)